Just breath ...

These past few weeks have been PACKED full. Between traveling to and fro LA, and all the other stressful tid bits floating around right now ... auditioning was the LAST thing on my mind. Running my songwriter sweeties publishing company with him is keeping me both busy and extremely fulfilled, so it's been quite some time since I've even had the audition "itch". And technically, I am not even suppose to be performing yet. However, here I am, with one audition and one dance call-back under my belt ... 

2 months post-op, shh!

Auditioning in Nashville is very different then auditioning in NYC. The main difference being that you audition once for the entire season, per year, rather then per show. Nutshell, if I ended up missing all of the auditions here, I would have to wait a year before I would get the next opportunity :-/

So, I caught wind of an audition @ Studio Tenn Theatre Co. It's a fabulous equity house here in town, run by NYC bred theater peeps, that are making a huge splash in our theatre community. Funny, one of the in house board members and directors actually went to my school ... crazy, right? The audition went really well, and I end up getting a call-back. Great, right? Wait for it, the catch, I am called back for the DANCE roll, not a singing role - nuts! To go or not to go, that was the question. I went back and forth about it (back and forth back and forth), and ended up deciding to go. Let me just tell you, girlfriend is out ... of...shape! Sore does no even begin to cover what I felt that night! All that being said, I actually held my own and did pretty well. The choreographer was GREAT. She had her knee replaced when she was my age, and could definitely relate. When your body has failed you in such a drastic way, it's hard to trust it again. It's a process that takes time and baby steps. Talking with her and seeing her dance (knowing what she had been through) gave me great hope with my recovery too. If nothing else, I think this might have been the silver lining of why I was suppose to be there. Sometimes, that's what it's all about. Not the specifics nor the logistics...but a greater lesson to be learned. So today, I pass this learning curve on to all of you lovelies. I challenge you to pick something in your life that you want to tackle, that perhaps seems bigger then you and just DO IT! Just take a deep breath ... and leap. 

I did.  

I went, I danced, and just like you will ... I survived :-)

You make me SMILE!

"Just the thought of you can drive me wild, 
oh you make me SMILE"
Simply put ... and now universally acclaimed.

Last night, May 17th 2011, my Songwriter Sweetie was recognized by the Broadcast Music Industry for his work in the writing of the song "Smile" (Uncle Kracker). A little catch up real quick on what and who BMI is, for those who don't know. The Broadcast Music Industry (BMI) is an American performing rights organization that represents more than 475,000 songwriters, composers and music publishers in all genres of music. Blair's been lucky enough to have been previously honored by BMI for his work in country music (take a peak). However, this is the first time he has been honored for his work in the Pop/ Rock industry. Funny fact, he will actually be recognized AGAIN this November @ The BMI Country Awards for the same song. After having been so successful on the Pop charts, "Smile" was later released to country music as well.  Pretty durn cool, huh?! 

 For a full list of the songs+writers honored click here. 

In a day in age where pieces of this music industry are literally disappearing in front of our eyes, being recognized for one's hard work could not be more special...truly. It's nights like last eve where you can see that magic not only birthed, but also renewed. It's vividly clear why these writer's, the true creme of the crop, have chosen to do what they do ... despite all the daunting odds. The abundance of well wishes, gratitude, and genuine support that enveloped the room was both fabulously toxic and touching ... and made the evening all the more special, if that's even possible!?

We truly could not be more grateful for these blessings. To all of you that support us, Blair's music, and music everywhere ... THANK YOU! You are unequivocally as much a part of this journey as anyone else. It's because of you, all you music lovers out there, that songwriters and artists everywhere have the opportunity to do what they love to do. And it is this exact blessing of living what you love that I wish for each and every single one of you :-)

Click here to read  Blair's 2010 interview with BMI about his own journey as a songwriter,
as well as his success with "Smile".

Long time coming, surgery post #1

This post has now been weeks in the making...it was hard. I will be posting in "parts", since the recovery is still unfolding. Mmmkay? Lets start at the very beginning...

As most of you know, this surgery has been a long time coming. With that amount of build up, you can imagine the nervous tension that was festering. How's this for a shake up...48hrs before my surgery, I got a call that it had to be pushed back a WEEK. This news rocked me, and I spent most of that day in a fetal position. However, with a new day came a new batch of sanity. Now it was time for all the rescheduling. Between plane tickets, work appts, and dinner drop-offs...we had to basically "re-plan" the surgery. Thankfully, we got things settled and the waiting began (again). Fast forward a week, and off we went to the hospital. I was admitted around 11AM. IV's were started, vitals were taken, and we basically just hung out until the time came to be wheeled on back to pre-op. From this point on, I was flying solo. I kissed my loves and off I went. Here I met both my Anesthesiologists. I was bummed to find out that I had to be intubated, but they explained that this was non-negotiable and promised to be extra careful w/ my vocal chords :) Then, the time had come... lights out! 

Getting hooked up, literally...

One last pic, and off I go :-)

I woke up about 3 hours later in recovery. Um, OUCH! We had a really hard time getting my pain meds sorted. They had to start w/ such small doses b/c of my size that it seemed like forever before I got some relief. Blair and Mom were brought back and we chatted (kind of) before we moved up to my room around 7PM. I was switched to my new bed, met my new nurse, and tried to settle in for the night. They had me wear this heavy duty nausea patch and it worked fabulously, so believe it or not ... I was STARVING! It wasn't long before my DR called and ordered me up and back out of bed for a walk. I was told to walk about every 3 hrs, all night long! This lil buckaroo was not a happy camper. Getting in and out of bed was the absolute worst, but I must say that it did help long term, and for that I am thankful. That night was tough. We just couldn't keep my meds ahead of the pain. This was a result of being on long term pain meds for almost a year prior. My tolerance was much higher then the dosing would allow for my size. As the sun rose, things settled a bit and I was actually able to rest. Around lunch time my DR came to visit, checked my incision and vitals, and said I was good to go! I was so excited to go home, but was also nervous to come off the IV meds and switch to my oral regiment - boy was I right! The next 2 weeks were a roller coaster of pain and restlessness, and sleep was just not even an option :-( The surgery was a HUGE success. My surgeon actually found 2 more breaks in the bone (totalling almost 5) which was just more affirmation that this surgery was a must. Things went off without a hitch and I had absolutely no complications...which is extremely rare for this surgery. I cannot thank my team of Dr's and Nurses enough. I had the absolute BEST care, and for that I am eternally grateful. To everyone that called, sent letters, sent flowers, sent food, and sent their love and support ....THANKYOU. I felt every single well-wish, and held them near and dear to my heart. 

Hanging in my room...

Spicing up my 4AM walk by rocking some underwear on my head!


Stay tuned for post #2  ...  the recovery!

THIS IS GONNA HURT

     I am one proud sweetheart today! Truth, I am always SO proud of the work my Songwriter Sweetie churns out ... talented doesn't even begin to explain it. However, this recent work just completely blows me away.
     Sixx:A.M. is a rock band/side project of Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue) with members James Michael, DJ Ashba, and Nikki Sixx himself. Their first record, The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack is based upon Sixx's autobiography, The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star. It puts you front and center of what it's like to live (and almost die) as a rock star heroin addict. You might remember their hit "Life is Beautiful" that blew up everywhere in 2007.
     Well, it's safe to say, they did it again! This time with a very different, but highly appropriate agenda. Their message is universally necessary, and at times, even visually abrasive. "This Is Gonna Hurt"  delves deep into the world of one's physicality and the pain that can come along with it, especially if it's "different". I don't think this message could drop at a better time. Truth, the world we live in just isn't excepting of those that may look or simply be different. Sixx:A.M. goes against the grain with their new record by making a bold effort to shatter this stigmata. The stand out track "Skin" is an epic ballad that will both pull at your heart strings, and open your eyes to the physical prejudice around you. I will post the lyrics below, but it TRULY is a song that needs to be heard. I dare you not to shed a tear over this one ...

Paint yourself a picture 

Of what you wish you looked like 

Maybe then they just might 

Feel an ounce of your pain 

Come into focus 

Step out of the shadows 

It's a losing battle 

There's no need to be ashamed 

Cause they don't even know you 

All they see is scars 

They don't see the angel 

Living in your heart 

Let them find the real you 

Buried deep within 

Let them know with all you got 

That you are not your skin 

When they start to judge you 

Show them your true colors 

And do unto others 

As you'd have done to you 

Just rise above this 

Kill them with your kindness 

Ignourence is blindness 

They're the ones that stand to lose 

Cause they don't even know you 

All they see is scars 

They don't see the angel 

Living in your heart 

Let them find the real you 

Burry deep within 

Let them know with all you got 

That you are not your skin 

Well they don't even know you 

All they see is scars 

They don't see the angels 

Living in your heart 

Let them find the real you 

Burry deep within 

Let them know with all you got 

That you are not 

That you are not your skin 

 Listen to Skin and the entire record "This Is Gonna Hurt" at itunes

5-1-11 ... THANK YOU!!!

Almost 10 years later, justice has been done.